In self-sabotage mode today severing ties w/ all friends/family/business contacts, driving recklessly, firing doctors, etc. Dancing on edge w/ the fire of mental illness w/o care of the consequences in this full-blown hallucinatory mania, the guilt to follow. Full-blooded music, Slayer and so forth, keeps me alive, drowning out terrorizing voices. Calling for help now to avoid hospitalization. This is real-deal schizophrenia. Change is coming, rest assured. Big fucking change. Good God damn, I hope so, and all of this began from the tiniest incident. I tell it like it is, plain and simple.